I know many of you can relate to the challenges in parenting. Sometimes our emotions take over, our own past experiences drive big reactions, or we just can’t get through to our kids the way we want.
One thing that we forget to stop and think about, though, is that children’s brains aren’t fully developed. When we say, “You should know better!” they physiologically can’t meet us at the same level we’re expecting.
I find that fascinating and really powerful when it comes to communicating effectively with kids. That’s why I’m so excited to share this week’s episode of The Broken Brain Podcast with you, where Dhru does a deep-dive into a new approach to parenting with Child and Family Therapist Jennifer Kolari.
Jennifer is one of the nation’s leading parenting experts and the founder of Connected Parenting. She is the author of Connected Parenting: How To Raise A Great kid and You’re Ruining My Life! (But Not Really) Surviving the Teenage Years with Connected Parenting.
Jennifer was the Parenting expert on CBC’s Steven and Chris show for eight seasons and has appeared frequently on Canada AM and Breakfast Television. Her advice can be found in many Canadian and U.S. magazines, such as Today’s Parent, Redbook, Parent Magazine and Canadian Family. Jennifer has been helping children, teens and families get connected for over twenty years.
Here are more of the details from this episode:
- How Jennifer discovered compassionate parenting and family therapy as her calling (4:50)
- The power of limbic bonding for you and your child (7:27)
- What traditional parenting got wrong about “You should know better!” (15:50)
- What are mirror neurons and how they can help (19:13)
- How yelling impacts the fight or flight response and stress hormones (24:40)
- Breaking down the CALM technique (27:00)
- Practicing active listening with the CALM technique in real situations (44:40)
- Approaching disagreements with teenagers more mindfully (52:20)
- Dealing with full-on tantrums and what happens when you give them permission to meltdown (57:10)
- Advice for couples and how to use mirroring for intimate relationships (1:15:50)
- Taking a modern approach to the modern problems kids are dealing with (1:30:05)
- Why too much power leads kids to feel anxious (1:50:30)
- Learn more about Jennifer’s work (1:54:20)
I hope you enjoy this powerful episode as much as I did.
Wishing you health and happiness,
Mark Hyman, MD
PS – You can find Jennifer’s books right here: Connected Parenting: How To Raise A Great Kid and You’re Ruining My Life! (But Not Really) Surviving the Teenage Years with Connected Parenting, and be sure to check out her podcast, Connected Parenting with Jennifer Kolari, right here.