Happiness is what our nation is founded on – life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. But maybe we have it all wrong in pursuing happiness through fierce individualism and seeking out material things, which give us momentary pleasure and success.
I have found a repeatable path to guaranteed happiness, even joy. And as corny as it sounds, it is quite simple. Serve others with love and compassion. That’s it. Guaranteed happiness is just a few minutes away.
This lesson comes back to me over and over even in the most difficult or traumatic circumstances. Moved by the suffering in Port au Prince after the earthquake in Haiti, I left pursuing my own goals and work to serve others and help relieve what suffering I could.
Despite the devastation, chaos, and pain all around me, in the simple act of service, of focusing on caring for others, of giving love and kindness to each one I touched, to serving the needs of others, I was happy. Even though I had very little to eat or drink, and was witness to unbearable suffering, and wilted daily in the muggy swelter of Haiti and slept (or should I say hardly slept) on a hard floor, I was happy.
And in conceiving and helping to create The Daniel Plan – a faith-based initiative where I volunteered countless hours and days teaching and sharing how to create wellness to a very overweight church congregation who collectively lost 270,000 pounds in the first year, I was happy. I didn’t do it to get something, but to give, to serve with love and compassion.
Last month I went to serve in a Tibetan orphanage at the Dolanji Monastery in northern India near the Tibetan border. There we found 200 kids and about 200 monks who live with very little of anything and almost no medical care. The kids didn’t even have blankets despite the 20 degree nights. Thankfully, a close friend who came with me arranged the purchase and delivery of 350 blankets for them.
The times when I am happiest as a doctor is when I serve those in need expecting nothing in return, when I simply give my time and knowledge in the loving service of others. I went to the orphanage after my pilgrimage to Bhutan, you can read about it here in Part I and Part II of my trek, where I walked and walked – washing away a very difficult year.
Bhutan focuses not only on gross national product but on “gross national happiness”. In my pilgrimage to the mountains and sacred places I found a time to be fallow, to be quiet. In that silence a few clear and strong feelings arose in me, bubbled up after tens of miles of walking up and down mountains and hours of saying the mantra “om mani padme hum” which invokes the values of wisdom and compassion embodied in the jewel and the lotus.
I had to repeat the mantra just so I could muster the strength to climb the 15,000 foot mountains. In the vast and empty quiet those mountains and mantras left inside me, I became very clear about something. It was this – that all my work, my life, and my actions arise from the foundation of compassion and service, in the relieving of suffering and in bringing of joy to each and everyone I touch and everything I do.
This was not a new feeling for me – but in some moments I drift away from that, thinking more of me and what I want. But this I do know. I am happiest when in the act of service with love and compassion.
Sometimes it takes death, divorce or some life trauma to redirect attention to what is true, essential, eternal, and alive, to the essence of a well-lived happy life. Sometimes we have to get hit over the head to know what is true.
But compassionate service is a simple and always accessible path to happiness. It doesn’t require years of mediation, practice, or great study. It requires that you open your heart and feel our common humanness, our inextricable inter-connectedness and see the sacredness of each of us. And then it requires a simple act. You don’t have to feel happy to serve, but by serving you will become happy. Try it!
It is why I create my life to be of service, why from time to time, I go away from what is familiar and comfortable to go to a place to serve others in need. I heard of this monastery and orphanage from a friend of mine and was invited to help care for the orphans, the monks, and the Abbott, the 33rd Abbott of Menri, now 85 years old, who came across the Himalayan passes of Tibet to Nepal to escape the Chinese occupation in 1959.
On his back he brought with him one hundred of the most sacred ancient texts of the Bon religion, the pre-Buddhist indigenous religion of Tibet. Buddhism was founded on the values of compassion and service. The idea of the Bodhisattva is one who has reached the gates of enlightenment only to return to vow to help relieve the suffering of all sentient beings.
Each day I awoke in a sacred valley, the hills covered in a blanket of clouds, the sun breaking over the mountains illuminating the monastery of ornately carved and colored temples of red, yellow, and blue. The morning quiet was broken only by sonorous monk chants and the occasional barking of dogs. Each morning we went to have breakfast with the Abbott who was always joyful, happy, and vibrant; whose life is about service.
I shared with him the haunting dreams of my sister who had just died and how she revisited me every night desperately trying to come back to life, denying her death, apparently caught in the in-between world.
He offered to help with a death and transition ritual to release her spirit. It was all very strange and mysterious to me, but the gift of his service, two hours of chants and prayers, burning offerings, blowing of conch shells, and the banging of richly painted round drums and cymbals by him and nine reincarnated lamas (or so he said), left me peaceful and calm. And after that night my sister seemed to be at peace – or at least she stopped visiting my dreams.
Whether there is life after death, God, or spirits is irrelevant here. The gift to me of his kindness and compassion for my suffering was healing and is the expression of everything Buddhists do. In the afternoons I went to the orphanage to help the children and help run the clinic. Many of the orphans had minor complaints and came just to be touched, held or noticed. They were grateful for the care.
One boy had a large hardened potato-shaped nodule on the back of his head from tuberculosis. The kids teased him and called him potato head. I surgically removed it in pretty rough conditions – pouring a lot of sterilizing liquids (Betadine) over everything.
The scissors and scalpel were dull, the instruments old, but we did it. He was so grateful and I was so happy to help. We had little to work with, ate only rice and lentils, slept on hard wooden beds, had no heat, and barely a functional bathroom, but I was happier than if I were staying at any five-star hotel.
Friends have told me I have a big appetite for life, and I certainly do, but my greatest appetite is for love and service, finding in each day a simple way to serve others with kindness and compassion.
It can be a kind word, a gentle touch, a thoughtful deed or a hand to someone who needs it. Sometimes I give money but that doesn’t make me nearly as happy as the giving of my time and my personal actions to serve others with compassion.
Try it – it is a guaranteed path to happiness. There is only one catch. It has to be self-less, expecting nothing in return, except the joy of giving.
The act of caring for each other is hard-wired into our genes – it is what E.O. Wilson calls group selection, the natural design of our biology to help each other that keeps us all alive – from the tiniest of ants to human beings.
Maybe it is what Jefferson meant when he penned the words “pursuit of happiness”. The magic is that in active compassionate service there is no pursuit, only the experience of happiness.
Think of one compassionate act of service you can do today. The opportunities are all around us. Try to do five acts in a day – your happiness will grow and grow. You can’t think or talk your way into happiness. I have realized that happiness is an action.
Please leave your thoughts by adding a comment below – but remember, we can’t offer personal medical advice online, so be sure to limit your comments to those about taking back our health!
To your good health,
Mark Hyman, MD
Your words and the sentiment behind them resonate with me, so much so that I am compelled to respond(for the first time ever to a blog). Remember the line in the movie Harry Met Sally when they were in the restaurant and the lady next to them comments, “I want what she’s having”…I am seeking a way to serve others in the way you describe, to have the experience of complete compassion. Day-to day I live this in small ways, but I am feeling pulled to do more and more. I recently attended a Red Cross Disaster Training course for nurses. I left thinking, ‘how can I REALLY make this happen in my life?’ It’s time to DO more. If ever an opportunity presents itself where I could work doing something to support what you do, let me know. Keep shining!
Dear Mark,
I felt truly and deeply touched indeed by this posts and the ones describing your pilgrimage to Buthan. Returning to the essence and the essential of life is the best gift that one can be offered, especially after those times where life becomes wild and inunderstandable.
Pilgrimagim to whatever sacred place we choose, puts us in a “way”. There are many many learnings to pull from this experience: beauty found after climbing the roughest mountain, incredible thoughts and feelings that appear while walking a difficult terrain, the kindness, compassion, talks that come up with other pilgrims or hospitaleros and other gifts that the way has secretely kept for us.
Learning what we really need to live happy with is another thing: how many things do we need indeed in our backpacks? which is the weight that helps us keep going and walking? which things that we used to consider indispensable, now are just “another thing” for us? and I would be able to continue, but the point is only one: what do we really need to live a happy life?
You hit the blank: be compassionate, care for others, love. The pilgrimage puts us in a rhythm that is far slower than the one modern life has, and this slower rhythm allows us to look to our sides (and notice others needs), to have a talk (then we have the chance and time to listen), there are no distractors like the blackberry, cell phones with internet, etc (so we have our fully attention)…, and there is no rush (so we really feel it is worth to invest our time in the others)… and we then, discover we are happy.
I try to live life as a pilgrim, and as the Dalai Lama said: when I look at the others, I see a fellow pilgrim and I feel I am immediately related to him… then compassion and love come, and happiness comes along too…
May we be happy,
Cris
I hope this is not too personal in nature, but I am recently separated and just relocated a new city. I have been looking for work; have sent out numerous applications, with no response. Last night I was hurt deeply by a close friend I have made in this new place. I miss my friends I just left behind. I went to bed crying in despair pleading to an unknown god for answers, patience, and hope for things to improve. I want to feel less lonely, sad, and lost in this new life change. I tossed and turned and could not sleep. I finally sat up and checked my phone for the time and saw that a new email was in my Inbox. It was your newsletter, Dr. Hyman. The title about happiness caught my eye immediately. I proceeded to read your blog and was deeply moved and touched by the message therein. I believe there are no coincidences. This was the message I needed to hear: to seek a way I can serve with love and compassion today. It is time for me to take the focus off of my self, my pain, my loneliness and hurt and truly give love to others with no expectation of anything in return. Thank you for sharing this message and for all the good you have done and are doing for the health and well-being of many throughout the world and for people like me- blessed with many good things but unable to enjoy them because I have been so focused on what is lacking and my unhappiness. Light ahead to you as you continue to share your experiences.
Thank you Trish. Our circumstances are a little different but your words speak for me too. “It is time for me to take the focus off of my self, my pain, my loneliness and hurt and truly give love to others with no expectation of anything in return. Thank you for sharing this message and for all the good you have done and are doing for the health and well-being of many throughout the world..” Thank you Dr Hyman!
simply beautiful!
Fantastic article… thank you so much. We have much to learn from your journey. Your work is so needed and appreciated!
I woke this morning, as usual, thinking “oh, great another day of this”. I was diagnosed with lung cancer in 10/12 and have been having a very rough time with chemo. Up to the time I was diagnosed I was going to college, working my little business, taking care of my cats. Everything changed. Now my blood count is too low to even receive the chemo. I feel so tired it is almost painful. I was a vegetarian and tried to help others when I could, using Buddhist tenets to help me understand myself and this life. I was totally against doctors. But I thought if I did not take the chemo, it would be like giving up. I find myself with feelings of depression and helplessness and uselessness. Reading this did make me feel better. Whether I will ever travel to some far off country to help others is another story. During this rough period, I found that when I take care of the ferals living right outside my apartment, feeding them, buying them a couple houses to get out of the cold does help me. I also started feeding the birds and squirrels. Everybody is waiting for me at 7:30 each morning. One morning I even saw a fox and this is right in the middle of East Norriton, PA which is not what I would call countryfied. My naturopathic doctor friend suggested I stay in gratefulness which I find is not that hard to do but still I do not feel well. Guess that is self-centered, huh? Thank you for your story, Doctor. Keep up the great work you are doing! Gina
Dr. Hyman, Words cannot express how moved I am by your writings. I NEVER get up when I am unable to sleep but do try to meditate, etc., to get to sleep, but it is now about 5 a.m., and I have been up reading of your spiritual journey for about a hour — and I know this was a divine calling. I lost a grandson to suicide — he served in Iraq — and I had the same feelings after his death– that he just could not go into the Light. I do feel he has found peace and joy, but I still feel his presence and guidance. Love never dies. In “The Prophet,” Gibran writes: “…what is it to cease breathing, but to free the breath from its restless tides, that it may rise and expand and seek God unemcumbered.”
I have followed your medical teachings for many years, and you are indeed gifted in your vast knowledge, and your willingness to go against the mainstream. I was a patient and friend of Dr. Wm. Crook, and he, like you, only wanted to serve others. Dr. Crook was a pioneer in your teachings, as I am sure you are aware. Dr. Crook first treated my children and changed their lives. The first time I saw Dr. Crook with my son, when he pulled him into his lap and had him reading to him, he gave me an article from “The Enquirer” about food sensitivities and said that would have to do for then, but that in 25 years, this would be in all the medical texts and would be mainstream medicine. Wish it were so!! That was in 1974. After Dr. Crook retired from medical practice, he set aside one day a week for anyone who wanted to call for advice or just to see how everyone was doing. You are the only doctor I have heard of since that time that I believe can fill his shoes. Wish I could be your patient but afraid I live too far away and so your books will have to suffice. Please write a book about your experiences on your spiritual journey.
I was disappointed recently because I tried to sign up too late for your dietary program, but with this experience I feel confident I can follow the program I know I should so that even at my age I can have many years to know the joy in serving others. I was reminded of a saying I have: “Very little is needed to make a happy life. It is all within yourself, in your way of thinking.
Namaste, Ileen Shoemaker
Many thanks, there cannot be too many reminders of this
Thank you for this article iit is a beautiful reading. I wish Í had the oppotunity to be in your healing energy after a big trauma 2012
Greetings from Iceland
Very moved and touched by the truth of your experience, as the tears are rolling, and wish I could of been there with you. Why the tears? I don`t know.
A Christian NEVER denounces his faith. Joy comes from serving…nothing new. God says so in the bible. And investing
in eternity is what counts . Our lives were meant to glorify Him, in whatever we do. Why is everyone so quick to leave Him out of the picture. Jesus Christ was our example. He loved enough to die for us. No religion has it right. A relationship with Jesus Christ is the only way to the abundant life we seek to attain. Joy Peace Contentment come from knowing Him and doing what you do in His Name.
You’re right in saying Jesus was our EXAMPLE. No religion has it right. You just admitted that Jesus is NOT the only way to God. Find God within you, and refer to the teachings of Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, Krishna, and all other Messiah’s and Avatars our loving God has sent to show us the way.
AMEN!!!!! Dorothy.
Dr.Hyman’s tone of sincerity touched me the most.
Path of selfless service is the path of guarantted happiness
is what we learn.anbd even more…
May his service to humanity continue .
Dr. Mark, your message is soo right on!! Whether we are American and ‘the pursuit of happiness’ is in our nation’s constitution or not, the greatest joy comes when we respond to another’s need from our heart and do what we can. It does not, however, mean pushing our help on those who have not asked for it – offering it, yes, but accepting that ‘no’ is a legitimate choice. It also means being sensitive that the form we offer is acceptable to the potential recipient. And it is also blessed to receive help from others in our times of need as you described the healing of your disturbed dreams. May the beauty of your words and thoughts bless all who read them.
Thank you for sharing your wisdom, Dr. Hyman. I am going to think and act upon it starting today.
“No religion has it right. A relationship with Jesus Christ is the only way to the abundant life we seek to attain.”
Is this not a contradiction?
Having just watched Pastor Rick Warren speak via the Internet about finding your calling, it seemed apparent through your blog, you have found and understand yours. Acquiring wealth, fame or notoriety can only bring happiness to a point; what seems to create the greatest happiness is lending yourself for the service of others. I hope that others read your words and see that everyone struggles no matter who they are or where they come from and can regain tranquility and peace in their own community by acknowledging their suffering and committing to service.
Thanks for sharing your work, passion, and faith and inspiring others to do the same.
DW
Dr. Hyman, I was moved to tears by your words. You have it ‘spot-on’! I have appreciated your approach to health and well-being for many years, but this was your most enlightening and powerful message to date! May you feel loved and blessed every day of your life. Our religious beliefs are secondary to how we live our lives. You bear the Fruits of the Spirit by how you live your life and that’s what truly matters, not that we say ‘this’ or ‘that’ or claim ‘this’ or ‘that’, but that we live what is in our hearts…the proof of what is in our hearts is reflected in how we live, love and serve. You are reflecting deep goodness and compassion. You have found the ‘key’ to happiness and it is not in the pursuing of it. As you have found, happiness simply comes from selfless love and serving. Blessings to you always! Thank you.
Thank you for your article on happiness. Three years ago I suffered a huge loss, business, marriage and financial. OK I said where do I go from here, what now? I began to ask how do I find happiness again after so much loss. This lead me back to my passion which is food, whole natural food and I became a nutrition coach. As I am healing my loss I keep asking about happiness. I have begun to realize I am most happy when I provide others with hope and tools to create transformation in their lives. Your article is such a confirmation of that experience.
I also am beginning to realize happiness has less to do with what is going on in my life but is really and inner experience which allows me to find happiness and pleasure every day from small things like the shower, the birds eating on my porch, the comfort of my bed. As I cultivate this inner happiness I have more resources to provide value to the people I serve. The 2 go so well together. Blessing to you too!
Dr. Hyman, thank you for sharing your amazing experiences and thoughts. As a Unitarian Universalist, this mindset is so much in keeping with our principles. I have been studying Buddhism a part of my spiritual journey lately, and the simplicity and beauty of it’s teachings allows each individual to find their path in the most glorious of ways. The simple precepts and teachings, and the value of meditation for looking deeply inside yourself is amazing.
Opening up the heart and “using” the heart creates happiness. This is where are highest good lives, the God in us, the best of whom we are. This is where we often forget to lead our lives from. Meditation from the heart has helped me with THE connection to life.
I am actually blogging on this week and last. And yes, connection to others – led by my heart – is the purpose of our lives in regards to helping each other out. Yes, it is pretty simple 
I don’t read everything that comes through my inbox, but you had me at Bhutan a few weeks ago. Thank you for all you do and for sharing your personal stories. Perhaps this is your next book? I hope so. What a gift that would be for the world. What a gift you are, Dr. Hyman. Blessings to you.
What a beautiful and moving post, conveying the relationship between selflessness and happyness. I was thinking about this yesterday and realized that at one point in my life, i found it easier to serve selflessly than to evolve. I was happy giving of my time and money, but found it difficult to let go of a small sense of identity and embrace a much bigger one where life did not fit into “my world”. It made me realize that there there are different ways to be selfless and to give. We may give to others directly or we may give to this mysterious process and allow it to shape us in ways that we did not expect. I suppose it depends of what we are called to but indeed, it all has to do with going beyond the illusion that life is all about us…
Thank you for your thoughtful posts Dr. Hyman!
Beautiful beautiful message. Thank you for sharing.
Excellent perspective and so very true in that happiness is greatest when you create joy in someone else. For families, communities and for total strangers depending on who you are. Whether you pursue this happiness near or far is often a function of time, resources and opportunity, but the ability is always there even if just the person next door. The only sentence I need to ask about is the first one where you question rugged individualism. Individualism, whether you consider it “fierce” or not, is at the heart of this ability to pursue happiness. The pursuit of material things does not bring happiness unless you use those things to bring joy to others. We need to preserve individualism in our society. I consider it a good thing
Thank you Dr. Hyman for sharing the way you do. I started reading and following your advice several years ago when I was searching for ways to heal myself from MS. I am very grateful for what I have gained from you and your work. I agree with you 100 percent that when helping others the experience of happiness is in its deepest and most satisfying form.
You Rock
Your service to others has been an inspiration… Thank you for all you do.
I keep returning to your model of detox/cleansing because it has been so helpful. I read a lot of real food, nutrition based healing info and I find myself returning to the simple truths you have outlined for us. If only we didn’t disagree on some food choices! (Sigh…) But, that doesn’t stop me from appreciating the ‘whole body view’ with your functional medicine model and all the insight you offer. You are a gem!
Blessings on your journey through life. And, thank you again for your firmness in struggling against ‘main stream medicine’.
You are such an inspiration Dr. Hyman! Thankyou for your selfless work and inspiring words. I was so moved by your experience and find it so amazingly simple that the road to riches is lined with love, compassion and service, not material things as our society seems to believe.
Excellent and inspiring. As we are all one, feeling our connection to others brings us joy as we are then feeling God.
This is a wonderful article and the spiritual connection is all a part of our healing. Something western societies are missing! Thank You Dr. Hyman for having the mind to accomplish these challenges. You are a leader in your
field and it gives people hope when a doctor goes out of his way to learn like this. Thank You so much, and loved
all the pictures, those were great! Sorry to hear about losing your sister…sometimes we are not ready to see them
go, and they stay with us, until we are able to let them go, it’s a natural process, no need to rush it, it’s the spiritual
bond between you, that you experience.
Wow! How powerfull your message is!!!
As a health professionnal for 46 years now…I am inspired by your message and will put your good and sincere advices into my practice for many more years to come…
Merci! dr Hyman!!
Georges M.
That was an incredibly moving and beautiful post. I do my best to live a life of service and compassion and this post will help keep me inspired on my path. Blessings.
Having just given up a high paying job as a Physician Assistant to go back to study massage and Nutrition and Functional Medicine I can attest to the happiness found in giving. Although my pocket is now slim I am following a more holistic path and can’t wait to learn all I can and be of even more service to others. We are missing out on community nowadays and we need to bring it back. I hope to be a part of healthier living lifestyle teachings and using health as a way to bring people together. I have many ideas………………….thanks for sharing your trip with us!
That was so beautiful. Thank you for share, reading it was a wonderful start to my day and has put me on a different path.
I couldn’t have said it any better than allof the forgoing comments. I agree that if we all did what you suggest and live our lives as you do every day, then our world would be a more loving, peaceful place.
Yes. I think you are exactly right on the happiness subject. It is really all about the Love of our fellow man.
!!!
Love being simply “The Desire To Do Good for Others.”
Life changing stuff
Dear Mark, I feel so humbled to read this – thank you for sharing it, just what was needed right now, to give me the motivation to stop thinking about myself & give freely to others.
Blessings to you & your loved ones. x
Years ago my best friend died, and every night for weeks I would hear her in my dreams say that she didn’t die. I would wake only to realize that she had died. Through life’s struggles we find enlightenment. I love reading your blog.
I wish I was a patient of yours.
You walk into a doctors office for a two minute visit. They have absolutely zero idea what’s going wrong with your body. It is frustrating. I wish you had an office in NYC… I would be your first patient. Lisa
dear Drhyman,
I loved your article on Bhutan and your own journey. I have been influenced and studied Buddhism for many years in a rather superficial way yet it always haunts me with it’s trueness. It is always something to return to for spiritual sustenance and guidance.
I am also happy you present your medical knowledge for us on the internet. It has been a great help.
Thank you very much,
Diane
Dr. Hyman….thank you for today’s email….beautiful pictures, wonderful text. If you know Dr. Rachel Naomi Remen, from the Commonweal Cancer program in Bolinas, CA…you should have her concept on Service of Life. It is from the Noetic Sciences Review, Spring of 1996, pp 2526…She talks about service vs. helping/fixing. It has changed my life. If there is an address for you, I will send it on. It is several pages or I would enclose it in this reply. The gist is that helping incurs debt, they owe you. Serving is healing. Fixing is perceiving them as broken and that requires me to act. When we fix, we do not see the wholeness in others. More explanation in the article.
As someone who has lived 82 years and had 6 children, plus one more that I took in years ago, I have been a helper/fixer all my life until I read this article by Dr. Remen.
Thank you and you are the GIFT….sincerely, A. Dryden
I forgot to add: “Expect nothing, welcome everything.”
“Be content with what you have;
Rejoice in the way things are,
When you realize there is nothing lacking
The whole world belongs to you.”
Lao Tzu
.Dr. Hyman and Audrey…Compassion and being of selfless service is at the root of our being and in our hearts. To our challenge, our culture does not support this very well but as a connected human species it is at the foundation of our being. I often feel we are at the cutting edge of a new way of being on the planet together and being in the presence of Buddhist monks in India gives you an opportunity to explore and nurture what it feels like to live in a compassionate way and to be among people who have spent their lives learning and living compassion. A true blessing to be able to experience this and to fill the heart space with compassionatel service to others and ourselves and to expect nothing in return and to feel the sacredness of the emptiness. Blessings, Christine
Dr. Hyman: The Bible encourages expession of gratitude. In the years you have been helping me learn to care for my health, I have not followed that advice. I now remedy that. Thank you so much for unselfishly giving of yourself and profession to help me and others. I just finish reading your blog on happiness. I can’t tell you how my spirit rejoice as i read. I am moved to jealusy — of course, not the negative kind, but the kind that says that I too should seek out ways to fulfill my life’s mission. Thank you for taking the time to share your experience. I, of course, am Christian, but the principle applies just the same.
JG
Dr. Mark:
I just want to thank you for putting things in perspective for me. Sometimes I get “stuck” in giving, as I don’t have the kind of money as some I know who give lots. You are so right–giving time and kind words is what will make me happy–not giving money. And it’s what changes the world. Thank you for this article. I will carry it with me.
My deepest condolences to you and your family, may your sister’s memory be for a blessing.
I saw a preacher begging for money on TV and he would say to his audience “OK fine you cant afford $1,000 but you can give $200.” The same principle applies here. I cant do surgery in Bhutan, but I can remember to do something for someone in need without expecting anything in return. Thank you for reminding us how easy it is.
I truly enjoyed reading your blog about the happiness that comes from being of service to others. It often seems that we learn our most valuable lessons when we ourselves go through life experiences that create suffering. It sounds as if you have had a very difficult year and have found peace via the path of helping to ease the burdens of people less fortunate. Something as simple as a smile or kind word goes a long way toward brightening the day of someone else. Stay your course, Dr. Hyman. You are helping to change the world in wonderful ways!
Is it not written, “it is more blessed to give than it is to receive”? For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also. (Matt 6:21)
Thank you for sharing your thoughts on happiness. You said it so beautifully. When I was going through a very difficult personal trial, the two things that gave me the most happiness was helping and serving a sick friend and volunteering at an equine therapy farm. You are right. There are opportunities all around us to help and serve.
Thank you, again, for sharing your experiences, thoughts and feelings. Your post was very moving and it made me think, and it made me feel. Such beautiful, compassionate thoughts. Such an amazing journey. Touches my soul.
Namaste.
Thank you for being such an awesome humble example. Regardless of any religion, although I am a Christian, we live as a community. We have come so far from that with all of our materialistic needs but need to come back home. If everyone did just one volunteer service a month, there would be much less pain in the world. Thank you again for sharing your God given talent and brilliance with a very, very needy world. God Bless YOU and your family.
Dear Dr. Hyman,
Your pilgrimage inspired me to give. I’ve joined a group called couchsurfing where our family hosts a traveller on our couch for free. We have a lovely native-american young man staying on our couch for the next two days. We’re happy to support him on his travels. I admire and learn from your fearlessness and how you open your arms real wide to life. Sorry about the sad stuff you’re going through. Joy will return, if it has not already.
Martha Burns
Wanted to add that I looked up some of the beautiful writings of Rilke, and it was indeed inspiring.
What you wrte is very nice and all, but when people here need services like you offer in Functional Med but don’t have the significant resources to pay the very steep fees you charge, you end up looking less than genuine.
Thanks for sharing your fabulous pictures, invaluable experience and insightful thought. Selfless service of time and personal action in kindness and compassion, with no expectation of any return(material-wise) is the gateway to happiness,for sure. the joy of rendering service is double that of receiving.Om mani padme hum.
Thanks for sharing your experience and showing us how this experience has enriched your life. As a christian, i know it is better to give than to receive. I have learned how unhappy one can be by chosing not to be kind for any reason. These days i always help where i can and i consider it my duty to do so.God bless you.
Reading your posts and the comments, the beauty of your and their spirit shone through your and their words and opened my heart, and tears came out of me. Thank you for your sharing, for being who you are and for doing what you do, and for your inspiration and encouragement of and to compassion and loving kindness. Bless you!
I too am sorry for the losses of your sister Carrie and your wife and yet I am glad for the blessings you shared while you were with them. You of all people must know that blessings are real and, being real, do not die just because the giver has gone away. Their blessings are in you still. Also, I deeply rejoice in the blessing of your loving relationship with your beautiful daughter Rachel!
Many years ago I read a snippet of a poem which I have now found through Google (see below). I feel it’s about you! Many thanks for all you blessings, given and received. Tim
Abou Ben Adhem (may his tribe increase!)
Awoke one night from a deep dream of peace,
And saw, within the moonlight in his room,
Making it rich, and like a lily in bloom,
An angel writing in a book of gold:-
Exceeding peace had made Ben Adhem bold,
And to the presence in the room he said,
‘What writest thou?’ – The vision raised its head,
And with a look made of all sweet accord,
Answered ‘The names of those who love the Lord.’
‘And is mine one?’ said Abou. ‘Nay, not so,’
Replied the angel. Abou spoke more low,
But cheerly still; and said ‘I pray thee then,
Write me as one that loves his fellow-men.’
The angel wrote, and vanish’d. The next night
It came again with a great wakening light,
And showed the names whom love of God had bless’d,
And lo! Ben Adhem’s name led all the rest.
Thank you for this beautiful article. I am so sorry about your sister. I sat next to her a few years ago at the Integrative Health Symposium. What a beautiful and vibrant woman. We chatted a little, she was taking notes to review the topic with you since you had not been able to attend that lecture. Wishing you peace.
Dr. Hyman, you always serve as an awe-inspiring example of how to become a better human. Kudos for your words and your actions.
Beautiful, inspiring truth…healing the mind, becoming whole. Thank you.
The experience that you’ve shared I have felt before. It almost feels like a hole you’ve gotten yourself into and now you need to work your way out. I’ve always thought that in times like these I’ve gone astray and I was in need for finding my way back to what really matters…what is truth. These things that you found love, sharing, happiness in giving, thinking less of yourself and more of the other…what struck me is that they are all imperishable things. I think they are all innate within us and you took an inner journey to discover them or rediscover them. I pray and hope that you will never loose these truths. I believe that we can be very happy having very little. I too found my journey very difficult and discouraging at one point. As a matter of fact at different times to different degrees my life was very hard. Having had cancer twice it was very difficult to face my own possible death. Not really knowing a great deal about medical things your imagination can get the better of you. I too fought through it by reaching out to those who were in need. I visit cancer patients now at Roswell. In the process I too found joy. I found joy in knowing I wasn’t alone and that there is so much more to life than having cancer and worrying over it. Living life to the fullest and being content with what is… is in itself wonderful. Just allowing things to unfold. It can set you free. Being a Christian I believe that I’m just passing through this world to get to my home. These experiences we have and if we’re lucky share together is our journey to unfold into what God so lovingly made us to be. It is the journey that matter. It is the journey with my eyes wide open ready in the moment that counts for me. Thank you for sharing.
I am so grateful that there are people out there like you that recognize the value in service above material possessions. I think it’s really easy to take everything we are blessed with for granted, so reading this post was a real eye-opener. Beautiful words … thank you for sharing.
I LOVE YOU….wonderful post. Thanks so much for sharing.
Thank you, Dr. Hyman for your gentle example of active compassion through service. After reading your post, I was inspired to give nutritional consultations this week to those who could not otherwise have afforded them. It didn’t hurt at all and in fact, feels very calming and regenerative.
Blessings and much gratitude to your sister Carrie, who in trying to reach you in your dream state, opened a string of events and a journey that would bring peace and happiness to countless people. In telling her story, together you helped us realize there really is no separation between ourselves and ‘others’, whether we are ‘here’ or on the ‘other’ side.
Kindness and compassion always
Helen Papaconstantinos
I know you are compassionate & caring. I think you are the best. 6 years ago , my daughter, Terri began having excruciating pain. I believe you could help her heal. She has been to many doctors, including Mayo Clinic in Jacksonville & Cleveland Clinic in Miami. She has been diagnosed with auto immune disease, but no one can tell her which one. Her Rheumatologist had her taking prednisone, lyrica, plaquenil, celebrex & methotrexate. She just took herself off of methotrexate, but is still taking all of the rest. She went to a Functional Medicine M.D. in south Florida but nothing has helped her. She has been trying to get off of prednisone, 1 mg per week, as she was on 20 mg. The doctors, the tests, and the medicines have left her deep in debt. She has just gotten the results of a bone density test, that shows, her bones are disintegrating. I am heartsick over the many drugs she is taking & the fact that they are destroying her bones. We don’t know where to turn, since the Functional doctor here, could not help her. I believe you could, yet, a few years ago, we were told that you don’t take new patients. Where can we turn?
We need to redefine the American Dream. I feel as though it veered toward competition at some point, probably around 200 – 150 years ago. Competition promotes serving oneself. Selfishness is necessary to get ahead in school and work in this country, drowning our primal call to serve and unsuccessfully pursuing happiness with short-term pleasures. Right now in America, serving others is a privilege only the financially and physically free have. The rest of society is tied to financial debt and running on the hamster wheel just to avoid being thrown out of their homes. The rest of society is tied to physical debt, waiting in doctor’s offices for the next silver bullet drug. When 70% fall into the financially and physically free, it’s a systemic flaw, it’s no longer the fault of the individual. The system of competition has lead to individualized thinking and acting that ends up in community-wide problems.
Hopefully this gets better with each generation as I think people are tired of pretending they will end up at the top of the fictional financial and physical ladder. Hopefully we can redefine the American Dream for each new generation, promoting lasting happiness and physical and financial freedom for everyone.
Doc, Thank you for INSPIRING so many people on a daily basis…..I have read most comments and ALL were positive….. I now bestow upon you the honor of a real life – SUPER HERO !!!!!
Dear Dr. Mark,
You are truly a great Bodhisattva! You understand your divine life purpose. Great Love, Great Compassion and Just Do it are the attributes of a great bodhisattva. You have them.
“Past Mind, Present Mind and Future Mind can not be attained”, With which Mind do you wish to attain happiness?
Put it all thinking down, just go straight, Only Don’t know, Just Do It whatever you are doing right now. Love means “without conditions”. Keep up with the great work.
Peace!
Andre
“Only the mind that wants to help others from suffering is ENLIGHTENED” Zen Master Seung Sahn.
I read your post. It was amazing. Your thought process is wonderful. The way you tell about things is awesome.
I am not going to say what everyone else has already said, but I do want to comment on your knowledge of the topic. Your truly well-informed.
Thank you so much for sharing Dr. Hyman! I so much want to travel to that part of the world and I hope to make it happen one day! Thank you for sharing all you have learned along your path! You have touched so many people with your loving kindness!
Tashi Delek!