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The Secret to Making Healthy Changes Easier

March 24, 2025

Ever hear the saying, “Show me your friends, and I’ll show you your future”?

It’s not wrong—especially when it comes to your health.

For instance, research shows that if your friends are overweight, you’re 70% more likely to be overweight too. That’s because the people around you shape how you eat, how you move, and even how you think about health.

But it goes deeper than habits.

UCLA researchers have found that loneliness can trigger changes in your genes that increase inflammation and weaken your immune system, making you more vulnerable to illness.

On the flip side, Harvard’s longest-running study on happiness and longevity found that strong social connections don’t just make life more enjoyable—they lead to lower rates of chronic disease, better mental health, and longer life expectancy.

I’ve seen this play out firsthand. At the Cleveland Clinic, when we put patients in small groups, their health outcomes improved threefold compared to those in one-on-one care.

And when I helped create The Daniel Plan—a wellness program that brought thousands of people together—Pastor Rick Warren’s community lost a collective 250,000 pounds in just one year by supporting each other in sustainable lifestyle changes.

The right community can keep you motivated, hold you accountable (in the very best way!), and help you make lasting changes.

But do you have to ditch old friends? What if your family isn’t on board? And how do you even find “your people”? I’ve got your answers—and four highly effective ways to make healthy changes easier.

What If the People Around You Aren’t Supportive?

Not everyone in your life will be on board with your health goals—at least not right away. Some may push back, make jokes, or try to convince you that “one bite won’t hurt.”

Others might feel like your choices are a judgment on their own. And if your usual social routines revolve around unhealthy habits, sticking to your goals can feel exhausting.

So how do you stay true to your health priorities without creating tension in your relationships? Here are a few ways to make it work:

Change the setting, not the people. You don’t have to cut ties with friends just because they don’t share your health priorities. But if your usual hangouts make it harder to stay on track, suggest something different—like meeting for coffee instead of drinks or going for a walk instead of dinner out. This keeps your relationships strong without making you feel like you’re constantly saying no.
Have the hard conversations. If someone questions your choices or pressures you to “just have one,” it’s okay to be direct. Try: “This is important to me, and I’d love your support—even if you don’t want to join me.” Or if they push food or drinks on you, say: “I feel better eating this way. You don’t have to change what you’re doing, but I’d love for you to respect my choices.”
Make it about you, not them. People are more open when they don’t feel judged. Instead of saying, “I’m cutting out sugar because it’s bad for you,” try, “I’m testing a lower-sugar diet to see how it affects my energy.” This way, it feels like a personal choice—not a statement about what they should do.

At the same time, finding people who share your health goals can make all the difference—so you don’t have to feel like you’re doing it alone.

That’s why I created the Hyman Hive—a place where you can connect with like-minded people, get real support, and share wins and struggles without judgment. But whether you join the Hive or not, there are smart ways to build a supportive community around you. Here’s how.

Strategy #1: Find Your “Third Place”

If the people in your immediate circle don’t share your health goals, it can feel isolating. That’s why it helps to have a “third place”—a space outside of work and home where you can connect with like-minded people.

This could be a fitness class, a local running or hiking group, a cooking workshop, or an online community. The key is to put yourself in environments where health-conscious choices feel normal.

What to do: Look for activities that align with your interests, whether it’s a yoga studio, a fitness class, or a group that meets for weekend walks.

Not a fan of in-person events? Online spaces can be just as powerful—especially if they offer real engagement, not just passive content. The right third place doesn’t just give you support—it makes healthy living feel like the default. (The Hyman Hive was built with this in mind.)

Strategy #2: Be Curious, Not Judgmental

The way you talk about health can either push people away or bring them closer. Conversations around diet, fitness, and wellness can easily turn into debates.

But if you approach them with curiosity instead of judgment, they can actually help you build meaningful connections.

When someone mentions something about their health, resist the urge to correct them, offer advice, or one-up their experience. Instead, ask open-ended questions. People are far more likely to engage—and even reflect on their own choices—when they feel heard, not judged.

What to do: Next time someone talks about their health, try asking, “How’s that working for you?” or “What do you like about that approach?”

This keeps the conversation open and lets them share their perspective without feeling defensive. And when you listen with genuine interest, they’re more likely to reciprocate—creating a stronger, more engaged community where real conversations about health can thrive.

The more people who bring this kind of open-minded curiosity to their interactions, the stronger and more supportive health-focused spaces become—whether that’s in your own life or in an online community like the Hyman Hive, where thoughtful, respectful discussions are what we encourage most.

Strategy #3: Share Your Struggles—and Let Others In

It’s easy to think that if you want support, you need to have it all together first. But the opposite is true—real connection happens when you let people see the messy parts, too.

When you’re open about your challenges, two things happen: First, people relate to you more, and second, they’re more likely to offer support or even share their own struggles.

Psychologists refer to this as the “Beautiful Mess Effect”: We tend to admire vulnerability in others but fear that showing our own will make us look weak.^1,2 In reality, being open makes people trust and connect with you more. And the more you feel understood, the easier it is to stick with your goals.

What to do: Next time you’re struggling, resist the urge to keep it to yourself. Instead, share it—whether it’s with a friend, a workout partner, or in a supportive community. Try posting something simple like, “I’ve been trying to cut out sugar, but by mid-afternoon, I cave every time. Anyone else dealing with this?”

People love giving advice, and chances are, you’ll get both encouragement and practical solutions.

The more open you are, the more likely you are to find others who get it. And knowing you’re not alone can make all the difference.

Strategy #4: Give More to Get More

When you actively engage in a community, you gain more in return. That’s not just a feel-good idea—it’s backed by psychology.

Self-perception theory suggests that we learn who we are by watching what we do.³ When you consistently show up, contribute, and support others, you start to see yourself as someone who prioritizes health—and that identity makes it easier to stick with your goals.

Taking an active role in a health-focused community—whether it’s offering encouragement, sharing your progress, or helping others—doesn’t just strengthen your connections. It reinforces your own commitment to a healthier life.

What to do: Instead of passively consuming information, look for ways to participate. Join a discussion, offer support to someone who’s struggling, or share a small win.

Even simple actions—like answering a question in an online forum or organizing a weekend walk—can strengthen both your relationships and your own habits.

Example: If you start regularly checking in with a group of people working toward similar goals, you’re not just holding them accountable—you’re reinforcing that you’re someone who prioritizes health.

In any community you join—the more you engage, the more you’ll feel like you truly belong—and the more likely you are to stay consistent with your own goals.

The best way to build a supportive community isn’t just to find one—it’s to show up and play a role in making it stronger.

Looking for Your People?

Join us in the Hyman Hive, our all-new online space designed to help you connect with like-minded people who care about their health. Inside, you’ll find real support, meaningful conversations, and expert guidance to help you stay on track. Plus, you’ll get VIP access to exclusive live events with Dr. Hyman. Learn more here.